BOND-EYE CANDY - by Alex O'Halloran
After a huge amount of negative feedback from the female customers I spoke to in my store, I consider my next statement to be "gutsy!"
Maybe I have different taste from other females, or maybe I have questionable taste or maybe some of those women I asked are just too scared to fess up or maybe I'm just comfortable in my own skin.
Here goes..........my confession is simple..............."I love (SOME) men in Speedos!".
Now don't get me wrong. Naturally a girl has her standards. When I say I love Speedos, I'm not talking about the short balding bloke who shows off his package in the hope that we won't notice his man boobs or his buddha belly. And if you can tell the size, shape and level of pudenda hairiness - he's definitely wearing the wrong swim suit!
No banana in the hammock is going to make a woman come running.That type of man should definitely obey the, "never leave the towel rule".
And then of course, there's the slang names; Meat hangers,lolly bag, ding-a-ling-sling, scrote tote and the good old budgie smugglers.
Critics may say, that the 'Speedo' is by far the most embarrassing piece of clothing a man could wear, and an unfit man in Speedos is like a bad car wreck - you can't help but stare, and if you're over the age of 3 you shouldn't be tempted to go the Speedo. I disagree because to me.......a man in socks and summer sandals is, well - WRONG!
Yes...........I appreciate that some women would prefer to be curious and fantasize rather than have it all laid right out in front of them, and that a man in boardies leaves you wondering, but in my mind the 'SPEEDO' looks sexy on a man in great shape! The speedo represents the iconic Bondi Aussie Lifesaver. Gods of the beach, as they proudly parade our shores with a hint of zinc, tanned and toned with their tight togs and a bum cheek peeking out that shouts, "WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA!".
Even on a visit back in 1988, when Princess Diana met the Sydney Lifesavers, she flirtatiously said, "I've been waiting for this all day".
So come on all you blokes out there..........don't hide behind those boardies forever..........lose that tan line and saggy sand chafe. If women of every shape and size can bare it all, so should you!
Have a little faith in Speedos...................and show off that man hammock...............but remember, I said Speedos, not the 'Borat Mankini'!