THE INVASION of MR and MRS NARC

MEET MR and MRS NARC.....

by Alex.O

                                                                                 

Unlike an extinct creature on one of those fascinating David Attenborough documentaries....... The NARCS species are in plague proportions......they're everywhere!

Perhaps they're the opposite to the classic bear and have decided to come out of hiberation because it's winter??........Or do we blame it on the madness of social media??

Not familiar with the term? Let me enlighten you.

NARC is short for Narcissism.

 NPD:Narcissism Personality Disorder.

 NARC in Narcissistic is the same as the NARC in NARCOTIC....this specimen is drunk and totally intoxicated with their own appearance and self. In simple terms.....they're "LIKE" freaks that simply "LIKE" everything about themselves!

Narcissus was a mythological Greek youth who fell in love with his reflection in a stream. Unable to leave his reflection, Narcissus perished..................enter the modern day.........the invasion of the male and female 'NARCS'........... they love to 'LIKE' the rainy season cos' there's puddles galore!

Sure, I'm the first to admit that I'm guilty of getting on the Mothership of social media 'like' face book, blogging, and more. Yes, I'm guilty of self promotion when it comes to my business, because it's simply a matter of survival. The difference with NARCS, is it's all about the promotion of 'oneself'. These specimens survive off the adoration and confirmation of self worth from other species as they suck up the 'N' supply like a desperate smoker "suckin" on a long overdue fag! 

Sound familiar?????

 Ask yourself.....do you know any NARCS??

They're easy to spot......they're the ones talking all about them, the one that never ask you anything about YOU! You know the drill.......it goes like this. You speak......they cut you off at the pass and say, "Enough about you, getting back to ME.....what do you think about ME??"

 Give me a quiz about them and I can answer every question, give them a quiz about YOU and they fail miserably.

Does this specie lack so much self esteem that they feel compelled to entertain us with their incessant VERBAGE (bullshit) that spills out of their mouth like a fountain.......all designed to impress the listener!

Well guess what NARCS......it doesn't and it's boring!

You're a dying breed Mr and Mrs NARC......destined for extinction........a David Attenborough doco special And why.......because nobody's interested, nobody cares. It's not a competition!

So as we smile and listen, as they bang on in their own little world, remove those wicked thoughts from your mind, the ones where you've just head butted them, the ones that see yourself shouting "Whatever!!!!!!....you total tool"

Just nod your head and reply with something absurd. After all, they won't have heard a word. Trust me, the response from them will be .................

Is there a mirror around here??????

My column is now available to read in the new July publication of the Barwon Heads  Talking Heads Magazine

TWEET TALK in WINTER.

TWEEET TALK....too long between stories!

by Alex O'Halloran

When I first moved to Barwon Heads 11 years ago I met Trish Clayton owner/editor/friend of 'Talking Heads'.A friendship that started simply because I loved her RED shoes! Red shoes are my weakness, it's the whole Dorothy/Wizard of Oz thing! And so it went from there.

 With too much spare time up my sleeve, I joined Talking Heads and wrote a funny column about all the weird and wonderful things that were happening in my life & around me.

 Anything from relationship break-up's,recovery,tragic dating moments to the terrible x-monster in-laws! Local girls loved it,some people were shocked by it,some readers canned it but most importantly......I loved writing it.
And most importantly I met my husband John who also wrote for Talking Heads. Thank you Trish!!

With less hours in my life these days to commit to a paper,I moved onto a more casual idea of venting on my TWEET TALK blog.Writing about life as it is now.

No breakup stories or tragic dating moments (thank god) but there's always something spinning through my head.

I took a short break from my blog this year, but now I hope to write the odd tweet talk when something pops into my head thats worthy of sharing.

Watch this space next week for my new column.Something to spice up winter!

Ali.O
(Read Tweet Talk on facebook)

TWEET TALK is on holidays....HELLO MOSS GROTTO BARWON HEADS

MOSS GROTTO Emporium

BARWON HEADS Pop in and say hello to ALEX.

Hi Everyone.....I've been a bit pre-occupied with my NEW store

MOSS GROTTO and painting up a storm at home. New paintings instore now.

I hope you've enjoyed my Tweet Talk! I plan to write the odd cameo column.

Warm wishes

Ali.O

ph: 03/ 5254 2277

Shop 3/53 Hitchcock Avenue BARWON HEADS

email: alex@mossgrotto.com.au

FEBRUARY Tweet Talk by Ali.O

"ATTACK OF THE WAGS........." by Alex O'Halloran

• WAGS.......Wives and Girlfriends (of celebrities)

• BOWIE......Botox

• BFF.....Best Female Friend

• OMG.....OH My God

• OTT.....Over the Top

• Derek Zoolander aka Ben Stiller

Was Derek Zoolander right when he said "Life is easier when you're really,really ridicously good looking? and.....Is there such a thing as beauty bias and does being beautiful have its advantages??

I recently attended the opening night of the fabulous 'BLONDIE' Hairdressing Salon in Geelong.....not a brunette in sight. Everyone including me, had the peroxide going on! Oh, actually, I lie........there was one local brunette beauty, but I promised.......no names.

Like a Logies red carpet, one by one WAG after WAG poured through the doors, air kissing their nearest and dearest. At the time, I was oblivious to their WAG status. As I stared in disbelief and admiration at the perfection, vanity and tall, tall glamorous girls with their gleaming white, white teeth and flawless, wrinkle free faces and of course perfect blonde hair, I suddenly felt like an extra on "Derek's" movie set.

Had I known it to be so OTT I may have taken a BFF simply for beauty bravery or at least someone to whisper to "OMG". Crammed into a night of genetically blessed and the cosmetically enchanced (I think there may have been a bit of Bowie going on!), I almost forgot about my high, high heels that were actually killing me. It was my first initiation into a WAG affair. Did someone mention "Blondie" or was I actually at the Brownlow? It was LA Story revisited minus Steve Martin.

It wasn't until I read the Geelong paper that I realized it was actually a real WAG affair. I simply thought my hairdresser Bec had lots of pretty clients. Clearly, I have been living under a celebrity free rock. The night attracted the press paparazzi and the newspaper featured the usual WAG photos.

Funnily enough......the next day I received a message from one of those WAGS......apologies for leaving without saying goodbye.She said that she had left early having a bad case of fashion faux pas!!

So, no matter whether you're the WAG or the oblivious WAG watcher, clearly, we all have the same issues and as the saying goes........"Everyone's ass always points to the ground".........hmmmmmmmmm.........unless Bowie can do something about that too?!!!

'BLONDIE' - NEW SALON

OWNED by: REBECCAH VIVIAN

HAIR & COSMETICA

4 Ormond Road East Geelong

p: 52 221 125

http://www.blondie.net.au/

***Thanks to Bec my hairdresser who has waved her magic to keep my locks naturally blonde for years now......well almost natural!!!!!

So girls - if you want a fabulous hairdresser that is known for perfecting blonde...... "BLONDIE" is the place!

Ali's tweet talk meets 'moss grotto'

moss grotto

'decoration without explanation'

coming soon.......

SUMMER is here!!!!!!!!!!

'SUMMER IS HERE so............SLIP , SLOP, SLAP'

SUMMER on the COAST.......................

Barwon Heads is jumping this Summer and so is our store Moss Industry.

The town is vibrant and alive after such a long cold winter!

I've decided to take a small break from my January tweet talk but look forward to writing up a storm in Feb.

See you then.

Remember: Don't forget your 30+............no one wants to look like a dried up currant!

You can find me in my store at Moss Industry BARWON HEADS.

Pop in and see some of our beautiful treasures from all over the globe.

www.mossindustry.blogspot.com

Ali.0

DECEMBER - tweet talk by ali.o'halloran

DECEMBER - Tweet TalkJEALOUSY IS A CURSE!

So crazy is this time of year that I completely forgot to download my December Tweet Talk......

My December tweet talk is brief and sweet this month. Why because it's silly season and I've simply run out of time.

They say jealousy is a curse........if so, then I am truly cursed. Not in a Harry Potter wizards and witches kind of way......nothing that simple! I'm cursed in the lifestyle envy way!

It's the 'Green Eyed Monster' that rears its head from time to time and sometimes I can't control it...........but hey, I'm human so arrest me!

You see, it happens to me every summer! I can't help it.It goes a little something like this.

I see someone with their face covered in sunscreen, barefoot, towel in hand, leisurely strolling down the street or a loaded camper trailer as it goes past. It's the annual pilgrimage of the summer crew that brings it on......the nostalgia of the pre-summer camping plan.

For me it was always on the beaches of the Murray River near Cobram. The catch up with cousins and friends..........the tent!! It's the campfire, water skiing and those lazy days by the river reading a book or simply relaxing. To me its the ultimate break!

So as I stand in the doorway of my store on a stunning summer's day. I try my hardest not to be jealous.I really do try!

Don't get me wrong.......I can almost convince myself that I have the perfect life...... My house is only a stone's throw from the beach which is something that I love about where I live and know most people would die for, but when a customer tries to lift my spirits in the nicest way with the remark, "Don't worry about missing out on summer, you've gotta make hay while the sun shines".

I can't help thinking to myself as that little green monster pops into my head..........."you can stick ya hay up your ass!"

There, I said it.................am I cursed?

TO ALL MY READERS - I SAY THIS WITH A BIG SMILE - "THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL FEEDBACK ON TWEET TALK THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.I WISH YOU ALL A VERY MAGICAL CHRISTMAS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MAY THE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES BE HAPPY, SAFE AND FUN!

AND REMEMBER................SANTA IS WATCHING!

SEE YOU AT MOSS INDUSTRY OR THE POD CAFE OVER SUMMER

Ali.O