OCTOBER 'tweet talk'

'MAN UP' by alex o'halloran

When I heard that the cool grunge man - Tex Perkins was performing a 'Johnny Cash' show called, 'The Man in Black' I couldn't resist booking 2 tickets for my husband and I. Like that charismatic and broody thing Michael Hutchence had - Tex has it too.

Even a friend's husband, who is by no means gay, said he clearly wants to "do Tex" just because he is so cool.....Like women saying they want to "do Angelina Jolie" because she's so beautiful - and not because they are gay!


The last time I saw Tex Perkins play was at the Barwon Heads pub jammed into the main dining area on a hot summer's night when The Cruel Sea was a band that people remembered. For those of you reading this who have no idea who Tex is, we are definitely decades apart.....


After a fabulous show we headed off for a bite to eat, nestled in one of Melbourne's bustling lane ways.... a bar called 'Biscotti' where rows of tables sat squashed as they competed with their neighbouring restaurants.There was definitely no room for private chit chat as the person eating beside you was literally up your nose. I have to admit I've never got off on that whole share dining thing....
As I soaked up the atmosphere and eye candy of pedestrian fashions walking past with over sized killer heels and women's arms and legs dipped in tattoo art, I couldn't help noticing the frantic waiters running around like rats up a drain pipe. Not because they were at all memorable - but because clearly, there was zero male genes going on! Not a bloke to be seen. I appreciate that there's a real look for young men these days in the fashion stakes, but c'mon.......man up I say!
Don't get me wrong......I love my gay male friends.......the ones that bring a bit of "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" into my life......glitter and all, but as I turned to my husband I sized up the male waiters with my critical eye, and said "check out the wait staff.......one looks like a stand in elf for Santa and the other one was a mere 50kgs on the scales. No girl wants a guy to be skinnier than her in jeans.......it's just not right!"
I know they come in all shapes and sizes, but it just doesn't sit with me that the man or should I say the overly vain guy spends more time in front of the mirror than I do.


As I looked over at my husband I realized how lucky I am............lucky that I'm not an 18 or 20 something, having to choose from a population of men that have become a feminine something?? In front of me sat my man Johnny, my husband......... with his slightly tanned skin, piercing blue eyes and the shoulders that I fell in love with.......the ones that seem to go on forever. Kind and sensitive too........yes to ME, it's what a man is supposed to be.

I guess whether our man is going to "Man Up" or "Man Down", it's whatever rocks your boat................