ALI.O's tweet talk...

TWEET TALK is on holidays....HELLO MOSS GROTTO BARWON HEADS

2011-05-11T19:28:00.000-07:00

MOSS GROTTO Emporium

BARWON HEADS Pop in and say hello to ALEX.

Hi Everyone.....I've been a bit pre-occupied with my NEW store

MOSS GROTTO and painting up a storm at home. New paintings instore now.

I hope you've enjoyed my Tweet Talk! I plan to write the odd cameo column.

Warm wishes

Ali.O

ph: 03/ 5254 2277

Shop 3/53 Hitchcock Avenue BARWON HEADS

email: alex@mossgrotto.com.au

FEBRUARY Tweet Talk by Ali.O

2011-02-01T15:58:00.001-08:00

"ATTACK OF THE WAGS........." by Alex O'Halloran

WAGS.......Wives and Girlfriends (of celebrities)

BOWIE......Botox

BFF.....Best Female Friend

OMG.....OH My God

OTT.....Over the Top

Derek Zoolander aka Ben Stiller

Was Derek Zoolander right when he said "Life is easier when you're really,really ridicously good looking? and.....Is there such a thing as beauty bias and does being beautiful have its advantages??

I recently attended the opening night of the fabulous 'BLONDIE' Hairdressing Salon in Geelong.....not a brunette in sight. Everyone including me, had the peroxide going on! Oh, actually, I lie........there was one local brunette beauty, but I promised.......no names.

Like a Logies red carpet, one by one WAG after WAG poured through the doors, air kissing their nearest and dearest. At the time, I was oblivious to their WAG status. As I stared in disbelief and admiration at the perfection, vanity and tall, tall glamorous girls with their gleaming white, white teeth and flawless, wrinkle free faces and of course perfect blonde hair, I suddenly felt like an extra on "Derek's" movie set.

Had I known it to be so OTT I may have taken a BFF simply for beauty bravery or at least someone to whisper to "OMG". Crammed into a night of genetically blessed and the cosmetically enchanced (I think there may have been a bit of Bowie going on!), I almost forgot about my high, high heels that were actually killing me. It was my first initiation into a WAG affair. Did someone mention "Blondie" or was I actually at the Brownlow? It was LA Story revisited minus Steve Martin.

It wasn't until I read the Geelong paper that I realized it was actually a real WAG affair. I simply thought my hairdresser Bec had lots of pretty clients. Clearly, I have been living under a celebrity free rock. The night attracted the press paparazzi and the newspaper featured the usual WAG photos.

Funnily enough......the next day I received a message from one of those WAGS......apologies for leaving without saying goodbye.She said that she had left early having a bad case of fashion faux pas!!

So, no matter whether you're the WAG or the oblivious WAG watcher, clearly, we all have the same issues and as the saying goes........"Everyone's ass always points to the ground".........hmmmmmmmmm.........unless Bowie can do something about that too?!!!

'BLONDIE' - NEW SALON

OWNED by: REBECCAH VIVIAN

HAIR & COSMETICA

4 Ormond Road East Geelong

p: 52 221 125

http://www.blondie.net.au/

***Thanks to Bec my hairdresser who has waved her magic to keep my locks naturally blonde for years now......well almost natural!!!!!

So girls - if you want a fabulous hairdresser that is known for perfecting blonde...... "BLONDIE" is the place!

Ali's tweet talk meets 'moss grotto'

2011-01-28T21:58:00.000-08:00

moss grotto

'decoration without explanation'

coming soon.......

SUMMER is here!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-05T22:06:00.000-08:00

'SUMMER IS HERE so............SLIP , SLOP, SLAP'

SUMMER on the COAST.......................

Barwon Heads is jumping this Summer and so is our store Moss Industry.

The town is vibrant and alive after such a long cold winter!

I've decided to take a small break from my January tweet talk but look forward to writing up a storm in Feb.

See you then.

Remember: Don't forget your 30+............no one wants to look like a dried up currant!

You can find me in my store at Moss Industry BARWON HEADS.

Pop in and see some of our beautiful treasures from all over the globe.

www.mossindustry.blogspot.com

Ali.0

DECEMBER - tweet talk by ali.o'halloran

2010-12-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

DECEMBER - Tweet TalkJEALOUSY IS A CURSE!

So crazy is this time of year that I completely forgot to download my December Tweet Talk......

My December tweet talk is brief and sweet this month. Why because it's silly season and I've simply run out of time.

They say jealousy is a curse........if so, then I am truly cursed. Not in a Harry Potter wizards and witches kind of way......nothing that simple! I'm cursed in the lifestyle envy way!

It's the 'Green Eyed Monster' that rears its head from time to time and sometimes I can't control it...........but hey, I'm human so arrest me!

You see, it happens to me every summer! I can't help it.It goes a little something like this.

I see someone with their face covered in sunscreen, barefoot, towel in hand, leisurely strolling down the street or a loaded camper trailer as it goes past. It's the annual pilgrimage of the summer crew that brings it on......the nostalgia of the pre-summer camping plan.

For me it was always on the beaches of the Murray River near Cobram. The catch up with cousins and friends..........the tent!! It's the campfire, water skiing and those lazy days by the river reading a book or simply relaxing. To me its the ultimate break!

So as I stand in the doorway of my store on a stunning summer's day. I try my hardest not to be jealous.I really do try!

Don't get me wrong.......I can almost convince myself that I have the perfect life...... My house is only a stone's throw from the beach which is something that I love about where I live and know most people would die for, but when a customer tries to lift my spirits in the nicest way with the remark, "Don't worry about missing out on summer, you've gotta make hay while the sun shines".

I can't help thinking to myself as that little green monster pops into my head..........."you can stick ya hay up your ass!"

There, I said it.................am I cursed?

TO ALL MY READERS - I SAY THIS WITH A BIG SMILE - "THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR WONDERFUL FEEDBACK ON TWEET TALK THROUGHOUT THE YEAR.I WISH YOU ALL A VERY MAGICAL CHRISTMAS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MAY THE TIME WITH YOUR FAMILIES BE HAPPY, SAFE AND FUN!

AND REMEMBER................SANTA IS WATCHING!

SEE YOU AT MOSS INDUSTRY OR THE POD CAFE OVER SUMMER

Ali.O

NOVEMBER - tweet talk by alex o'halloran

2010-11-03T14:33:00.001-07:00

'TRAVELLING LIGHT!'- by ali o'halloran

November tweet talk will be brief and sweet......I don't have time......you see, I need to pack!!!!!!!
After a long,cold winter without a break and a working life that lately seems similar to the movie "Groundhog Day", saying I'm desperate for a change of scene and holiday would be an understatement!
I'm hanging out!!!! I have no idea where the past year went but it went and now I can hardly wait to go away. A week in Bali with warm weather and sunshine!!

And so......the packing task begins. As I make a promise to "pack light", certain rogue outfits seem to make their way in to the suitcase. You know...........the hideous ones that you've never worn before and in your sane mind, wouldn't dare be seen in. Suddenly that fuschia pink tube dress seems fabulous because you're travelling to a destination where you're convinced you won't see anyone you know and it's been reserved for that "trip"!!!!........but chances are you will!!!. Read my lips.......you will!!!
The perfect example of a delusional state of mind is my Mum.Known for her simple classic taste, she's suddenly got the glue gun out making some bizarre holiday outfit with a shell featured on the shoulder! What the??? See what I mean?! Sane, rational people seem to suffer from some sort of fashionista delusion once they pack their passport!! That includes me!

So getting back to the packing - I've never been great at it.....actually I suck! Maybe I should have been a guest on the 'Love Boat' with a million outfits for every occasion - but I never got the gig. However, since meeting my husband John who travels unrealistically light, I've improved, but I still have a long way to go. I'm the kind of girl who packs enough clothes on a 3 day trip that could quite comfortably clothe a whole African country. It's that dilemma of taking too much or just not enough and again......it's about the "just in case outfit".
It all boils down to my hoarder personality. Minimal anything, just isn't in my make-up!

When my girlfriend worked as a host on The Great Outdoors travel show it always amazed me how she managed to pack for so many different countries where temps varied from zero to the Sahara desert!! Unlike me.......I get there with some outrageous outfit that unless I was planning on role playing some character in "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" the sequin halter top just isn't appropriate.
In a nutshell, I'm a crap packer! No amount of planning and consideration make it easy.....give me a bushfire and I will take the family album.......give me a holiday and I'll take the entire wardrobe!!!

And so with admiration for the girls that wear "shorts" proud.....I bit the bullet and purchased my first pair of shorts for a very long time!! Actually 'L.B.S'(Little black shorts). The last memory I have of wearing anything that shouted "shorts" was in 1979 - Daydream Island in the Whitsundays.....a snap shot with family and friends, a fresh hibiscus in my hair and shorts so tiny only a 12 year old could wear.

As I finished packing my bag I included my NEW shorts........the task of packing seemed so much easier and lighter!!
My girlfriend always says that we should wear as many fabulous outfits each day as possible whilst we're young and gorgeous. Wear it with confidence and wear it proud because one day we'll be old and no one will notice.
So like a 'L.B.D' (Little black dress) EVERY girl needs her 'L.B.S - 'Little black shorts'............
Bon Voyage!

OCTOBER tweet talk by Alex O'Halloran

2010-10-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

THE 'PAST' X-FACTOR

No matter how good or bad, happy or sad, how forgettable or how much it may make you cringe, we all have a past: buck teeth, braces, horrific permed hair, ugly deb photos and yes, you guessed it.......a dating past!!

That brief encounter..........a date, an ex, a crazy infatuation, a moment, a thing, whatever it ........was you shared with someone, no matter how much the memories fade, your past is out there somewhere!

Without warning, when you least expect it, your past pops up to say, "hello remember me?"

For some of us it's that awkward moment that we dread.

The reason I say this is because the other day my "past" did pop up..........it ran smack bang into me...........yes, my singledom past. You know..........that someone from another life time that you deliberately choose to forget, locked away in the vault!

We didn't date; there was definitely no relationship, just a drunken pash simply because I liked his hair!! Yes............tragic I know............but that was my past! With a polite hello, I continued on my way immediately erasing the memory.

Funnily enough over drinks with some girlfriends the other night I told them about the run in with "the past". I went on to ask them " have you ever given or received a "parting gift?" I've always wondered why people feel compelled to buy you something? you know...........a bizarre memento from a person that you had a thing or fling with?

Like a broken water main the conversation went into over drive as my friends fessed up to the weird but also sweet things that someone in their life had given them when 'parting'.

It was the encounter that meant nothing to you but the world to them or vise versa.

Yes........as cruel as it may sound someone's gotta end the "thing"...........sometimes it's you and sometimes it's not!

Here's a list of some of the weird and wondering 'parting gifts' that my girlfriends blurted out;

Some people buy designer lingerie or Calvin Klein y-fronts after just one kiss!
Some people go in search of a love song.
Some people wait at your front door step every night for you just because they think they can
Some people post signs on street poles with "I miss you" after just one date.
Some people think 50 text messages a day to you is acceptable.
Some people send endless bouquets of flowers and never ever get the message.
Some people buy a novel when they don't even know your taste.
Some people burn their entire cd collection for you.
Some people send you a packet of lollies each birthday hoping you'll remember them.
Some people go as far as getting your inititals dedicated to their number plate.
And the list goes on.................

Why is it so I ask? Although that drunken pash so long ago with the man with the nice "hair" might be consigned to the vault, it is part and parcel of the game..........and while we play the game we often end up in some awkward situations which come to revisit us when we least expect it!Remember:" It's not always about the hair!! He's probably bald now!!"

October Tweet talk coming soon.....

2010-09-30T23:42:00.000-07:00

Illustrations by a young Canadian girl

I had to share these illustrations done by an 18yr old Canadian girl.Scribbled down with simple biro pen on a letter to a friend.She also does amazing animation movies.

"Your PAST X-Factor" coming soon..................

SEPTEMBER tweet talk by Ali.O'Halloran

2010-08-28T21:57:00.000-07:00

TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT.......

If only a tracksuit had the same appeal.......

Thank god it's Spring! Warmer days...... bye, bye tracky dacks!

When is living in your track suit pants too,too much??

Yes it's been the coldest winter in years and yes they're extremely comfortable and warm, but so are my doona and passion killer polo fleece pjs...... but I don't hit the streets wearing them! My 9 year old neice wears tracksuit pants purely because the word "strapper" is plastered all over one leg.......but what credibility does a 9 yr old have?

Don't get me wrong......I'd be lying if I said I never wore my trackies in winter and I'd be lying if I said that they're not the first thing I reach for after a long day at work. Peeling off those rotten gut squeezing wool opaque tights and 25 layers of whatever ......

I'd be lying if I didn't wish that I could wear them at the drop of a hat and look like one of those dancers from that fabulous movie "Fame".....but sadly not!

And last but not least......I'd really be lying if I didn't admit to loving the perve of seeing the 'late' JFK Junior running through New York's Central Park. There's just something about a grey marle tracksuit with a "V" sweat mark down the front.**Only JFK Junior could get away with it!

The thing is........ where do you draw the line? MC Hammer thought he rocked in the silky trackies,Madonna needs to seriously move on from the Adidas silkies and as for the 'trackie dack mall rats' that plague shopping centres....well,say no more....

Call me a snob,superficial,vain whatever you want.....I just think that tracksuit pants worn "EVERYDAY" simply scream, "I've given up on life and my name is "Jim-Bob".Get the picture!

The other day I read something funny that stuck in my mind. Bizarrely,it went on to say how so many people seem to confuse the term 'tracksuit'. I'm understanding the 'track' part - it's the 'suit' bit that's weird and obviously confusing for some. It then went on to say, if tracksuit pants could talk they'd probably say,"I don't care anymore, I eat out of cans and I watch Jerry Springer. (by the way......I "love" the J.S show)

I agree with the writer....no matter how comfortable they claim to be, there's that inner fashion snob in me that would rather throw on a pair of stomach choking, thigh strangling, crutch burning jeans than trailer park dacks.

I too am not ready to throw in the towel just yet but lucky for my own credibility you can't see what I'm wearing as I type.

Inspriational images at Ali.O's tweet talk.......

2010-08-24T00:25:00.001-07:00

A bit of colour to brighten up these cold winter days...........

I really love this blue! I lived in a home in Richmond in London years ago that had this exact palette, but back then it seemed too much.

What a fabulous room to get dressed in!!!!!!!!!

The tones of this room are very subtle.The art is perfect.

Helena in Green! Stunning!!!

Charms found at Moss Industry Barwon Heads

Another killer room for dressing.

I came across this photo of myself at my old home in St.Kilda.

I've always loved how the 'red' works so well in this shot.

And that top..........where did it go????

photo: House & Garden Magazine 2001

Yes.....a true fan of this model.

This photo is great because of the props.The lace window detail is my favourite.

Taking the colour jade green to the extreme. A truly fabulous room!!!

Oh..........to live in a bottle............

2010-08-17T00:46:00.001-07:00

The Jeannie Bottle..........

If you were a kid in the 70's,did you ever want to live inside or at least see inside Jeannie's bottle??? I did!!

Apart from all her magic and not forgetting Major Nelson,I had a strange obsession for wanting to trade places with her.Not for the isolation or Major Nelson (I was too young), but simply to see the glittering opulence which she lived in and what took place deep down inside the interior of her tiny space.

I couldn't resist all that glitter,velvet,feathers and plushness.

Strange........but great at the time!

Just one blink!!!!!

That mysterious magic bottle!

Oh the velvet.........

I found a green glass bottle when I was about 10 or so and similar to hers.(so I thought)I carefully placed cotton wool down inside to create my own opulent Jeannie home.In my imagination it was exactly the same.

ali.o's tweet talk - AUGUST 2010 by alex O'Halloran

2010-08-02T19:18:00.000-07:00

BFF - BEST FEMALE FRIEND.............

"BFF" - BEST FEMALE FRIEND

by alex o'halloran

Like a great handbag.........we all need a variety of female friends for different occasions.

To me our female friends are essential!!

Do you have on female friend or do you share your friendships around??

Having an assortment of female friends can get you through some of the toughest and the happiest times in your life. As we get older and life becomes more complicated the days of having one best friend are long gone. It was something we did as children..........joined at the hip, wearing identical outfits and so close you were happy to share the same boy crush. Can you see yourself sharing now?!

Imagine dumping all your crap on just one friend! The overload at times would clearly leave you friendless. Expecting one best female friend to take it all on board just isn't right!

Girlfriends to me keep us sane, understand our female complexities when the world doesn't, and sympathize with us when you know your being far too precious.

Here's some of the BFF's list that I thought I'd share:

BFF (Best female friend) - She's the whole package! She's your life long friend who knows you inside out. She's your confidante, like a steel trap, she'd never tell anyone your deepest secrets.Everything and I mean everything is in the VAULT!

BFPF (Best female party friend) - Gotta love her! A trooper! You shared your wildest party days with her.She held back your hair as you puked.She never reminded you how badly you behaved the night before.And after a night of face sucking some guy..........she assured you that the tragic "pash rash" all over your chin wasn't that bad.

BFSF (Best female shopping friend) - They're essential!! Every girl needs a shopping partner in crime.Always on call to do some serious damage to the bank balance.......this friend is just as crazy about clothes as you are. It's the thrill of the find.....the bargain, the unusual. Always happy to put in a good 8 hour workout of trawling every store in site.

BFCF (Best female coffee friend) - No matter how busy she is or what other important commitments she has on that day this friend will drop everything to catch up over a coffee.

BFDQF (Best female drama queen friend) - This friend loves the extreme exaggeration of your latest drama and hers.Soaking up every detail like a sponge, she's all ears, happy to listen and always smiles at you with a reassuring - Absolutely.......I'm hearing you......yep.......I'm on "ya" page!!!

NBFF ("NEW" best female friend) - You've only just met and you instantly "click".There's that inner voice in you saying, "where has this fabulous new friend been hiding these last few years?" Her sense of humour is so similar to you that she could have almost grown up sitting next to you in school!!

Whatever life throws at us and whatever mountain we have to climb, there's nothing like sharing the journey and who better to share it with than your licorice all sorts group of female friends!

INSPIRATIONAL PHOTOS at Ali.O's Tweet Talk

2010-07-23T00:12:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some of these fantastic images that I love and have collected .They're inspirational to my windows at Moss Industry and in and around our store.Sticking them all over my wall at home is a constant creative & visual reminder.

Enjoy!I have a love of feathers
and pretty threads

and pale aqua

This image is amongst one of my collages from home that I've created.I love the colours & the mood is just brilliant!

What room would be a room without cluttered art on your walls

Leene Aavik - A great Noosa Artist.

Her works are all over our walls at home.

You can never ever have enough chairs.

They don't need to be functional or serve a purpose.They're just enjoyable to look at!!

A great store!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This print of words sits framed in our lounge at home.

It's how I feel about my husband John.

The ultimate bathroom!

Every home needs a dog!

My mirrored cabinet is covered in photos of my dog I no longer have.

My favourite palette of colours

White space is my idea of the perfect room.

I hope you've enjoyed these?

Let me know your thoughts at:

E:mossindustry@gmail.com

Ali.O

AUGUST Tweet Talk out soon..............................

JULY TWEET TALK by Alex O'Halloran

2010-07-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

"Those annoying little things" Have you ever had one of those days or weeks when things just go wrong?

It was supposed to be a lazy bike ride, followed by a ferry trip, a shopping fix and a weekend get-away to Sorrento.

It turned out to be a flat tyre on the bike, window shopping because I forgot my wallet (never change handbags at the last minute) and reliving memories of dinking on a bike as a teenager - only this time it was with my husband. To top it off, my 6 year old Motorola dinosaur mobile decided to die and go to recycle heaven, losing all my contact numbers. It was one of those days.......

It times like these that we need to sit back and breathe......and breathe......and breathe...........

Here's a few tips on how to cope with the grief:

Rule one:For me a bundy and coke a day keeps the grief away. No........not really, but a good old cold can can often do wonders when you think the world has it in for you.

Rule two:Read a good trash mag........the more crap the better! It's amazing how focusing on someone else's cellulite and fat bum issues can be therapeutic and convincing ourselves that there's a definite overload on photo airbrushing going on can do wonders for our mojo.

Rule Three: Look on the upside.......leaving the wallet at home was a blessing in disguise. Just think.......next time you go shopping you can spend twice as much! Unfortunately for me, the clothing store in Sorrento had the sale of all sales, but fortunately for me my husband was cashed up......which leads me onto rule number four.

Rule Four: Always go on a ferry to Sorrento with someone who remembers their wallet!

Rule Five: If your favourite old phone dies, try to forget the grief by going shopping for a new phone! While looking for a mobile phone shop, check out the clothes stores instead - it'll put you in a much better frame of mind for when you do have to make the serious decision of buying that brand new phone to replace your vintage one.

Rule Six: Remember that change can be a good thing (sometimes) and don't wig out (like I did) when your new phone is completely different and you can't work a thing!!

Rule Seven: At the end of the day, read rule number one again and crack a can or whatever takes your fancy, as you sit there at the table, saving all your friends' phone numbers to your new phone........

Rule Eight: Use the new phone to take a photo of the bundy can or your favourite drink as a screensaver just in case you forget rule number one!

And finally......remember that if you do wig out on those 'bad days', tell yourself not to sweat the small stuff!

Alio's Tweet Talk..........June 2010

2010-06-01T20:58:00.000-07:00

'HELP.......SOMEBODY STOLE MY MOJO!'
by Alex O'Halloran

Ever had those weeks when you feel out of sorts, not quite yourself and a little flat for no particular reason? Chances are you've lost your mojo!

The other day on my way to work I turned to my husband and blurted out, " I think I've lost my mojo, seriously......it's abandoned me! And do you think I've got boring?" Always honest and positive he smiled and said, "Of course not!" But to me..........my inner compass no longer seemed to be pointing due north.

What is your "mojo"? For me, it's my vitality, my natural inner high, my inspiration, my drive, oomph and passion. It's my pizzazz, style, punch, feistiness and charm. Call it what you like.....we all lose it from time to time. But hey.......I need it, because my mojo is my magic!!

So where has it gone? Who stole it and when is it coming back? Why am I not firing on all cylinders? Maybe it's the on set of winter, less sunshine, cooler temps, a quieter town? Or is it the need for a break in a hot destination, full of endless shopping or with all the hype of the SATC movie 2 being released, that I'm simply overdue for a girl's night out. Glitter included!

A friend dropped into my store last week for a coffee because she too was feeling NQR! As she went on telling me that she hadn't been herself lately, a bit down, almost in limbo and bored as well..........I was relieved to know someone else's mojo had packed up camp!

If there was a metal detector that could track down "mojo" everyone would buy one. Then again, maybe we could just hire one for a week and then pass it on to a friend. I'm all for sharing in the search for mojo.

Someone said to me the other day, "I think we all lose our mojo from time to time and then something small points us back in the right direction".............It might be as simple as finding a long lost photo at the back of your cupboard. The one that makes you crack up laughing. Those little things in life that make us smile..........and you know what..........sometimes that smile that others see in you, helps them start to find their own mojo.

I guess the best barometer of "mojo" is how many smiles are going on in your life...........So if you have any to spare, share them around. It's infectious!!!

(PS:For anyone reading this that may think this month's column is a little lame, or not my best.................you know why!)

ALI.O'S tweet talk - MAY 2010 -

2010-05-11T19:41:00.000-07:00

'40 PLUS' by Alex O'Halloran

I happily turned 42 the other day, actually last month......and I'm all good with that. I've even taken on a new way of saying my age. Instead of 42 years old.....I'm simply 42 years young! Sounds a bit naff, but I'm sticking with it.

On hitting my 40's I now see my crazy party days as a mere blurry memory of the past and something I like to think I've tamed myself for the better. Yes.....I've got healthier in my 40's - but hopefully not boring!

I even decided to throw myself into my husband's intensive 5 week exercise program.....just to feel great, and if I'm honest.......to prevent my ass from heading further South.

I gave up smoking 5 years ago to avoid ending up with a mouth that resembled a pussy's butt and as for my love of champers......that's stopped too. Not because I don't still LOVE it but simply because it HATES me.

The other day I couldn't help noticing my friend's glowing complexion. Not being able to resist, I said, "What have you done to your skin.....it looks amazing"? She replied, " I had a blueberry smoothie facial". With that I booked myself a "blueberry smoothie facial" using my birthday voucher in the hope of looking the same.

Greeted by a very young professional 23 yr old with skin like a Japanese geisha girl, she politely asked me to put my face into what looked like a microwave with neon lights. Suddenly my face appeared on a giant computer screen and I stared horrified at what I saw. Staring back at me was my face, way, way too close for my liking and looking like a hairy mammoth with funny dots all over the place, sun spots and god knows what else? She then proceeded to inform me about all my blemishes. My upbeat birthday mood disappeared!.

Strung out and paranoid at the skin cancer damage I may have caused in my teens by slapping on reef oil, I closed my eyes and tried to relax as I had my 'birthday' facial. Leaving the salon, I hoped to look like my friend - all new, buffed, dewy and glowing. My car rear vision mirror screamed something else. Red spotty faced, lathered up with rescue repair cream and adorned with scratch marks from the machine used to peel away the dead skin......I looked more like a Tassie tiger.

So is it worth it I ask?? All that money on creams and stuff, all that fluffing around with what God gave us? I'd be lying if I didn't admit to wigging out occasionally on those ugly days......but hey who doesn't? Yes ageing can suck.....all true, but it doesn't skip anyone. To a certain extent we can control what happens to us in our 40's. Sure, we're not 20 something anymore and no-one too soon is going to ask us to do a Playboy spread. Yes - we may have a few more lines around the eyes, pigmentation in weird places and god knows what else decides to take up residency......but maybe it's not until we reach our 40's that we grow into ourselves. Turning 40+ means you can turn into anything you want to be.

Remember, recite after me...............Instead of worrying, skid into your 40's sideways and enjoy the ride!

APRIL Tweet Talk by Ali.O

2010-04-01T18:46:00.000-07:00

IT'S A BOOB THING.......By Ali O'Halloran Let's be honest, most of us girls have a love hate relationship with our breasts......... unless of course they're fake!! Whether it be a rogue hair, a stretch mark or one that's slightly bigger than the other, once you reach a certain age, we're known for bitchin' about our boobs!.....never happy with what we've got.

Remember the "training bra"? A smartly marketed product called "Loveable".....Hello, my name is "Loveable" and you'll be wearing me and my cousins F....O....R....E....V....E....R!!!! The little over shoulder boulder holder, user friendly design for the "L" plate bra wearer.........that time in your adolescent life where a relationship starts between the young flat chested girl and the weirdo bra thing............. but seriously, what was it we were actually training for? As we hit our 40's, you have to ask yourself as you stare into the mirror at your not so pert boobs.........did you do enough training??

Luckily for me I didn't inherit my grandmother's set of enormous floaters that she clearly could have eaten her breakfast off. That particular gene was passed onto my mother. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining because I'm happy with what I've got but like most girls, I'm not completely satisfied because they're not perfect....I mean what's wrong with wanting perfect Helena Christensen breasts?

The other day amongst friends the conversation diverted from sex to windsocks....yes a complete swing around. Someone mentioned that they dreaded their breasts becoming best mates with their waist. Someone else added that at only 35, hers were already dragging south. Another insisted on being braless at all times, which we all know is fine........if you're 15!! And lastly, my closest friend laughed out loud, proudly announcing....."Mine are fabulous and I love, love, love them now - because they're FAKE!"

No matter how big or small, when you feel your rack just isn't cutting it, the easy option is to bring out the silicone chicken fillets. Easy to apply, inexpensive and unlike a boob job, it's not permanent......hell, some girls even wear their fillets to bed! As weird as this may sound, I recently said to a friend that when wearing the good old fillets I feel like I could take on the world. So weird, that I could almost convince myself to enter that wet tee comp......as long as it didn't require rock hard nipples!! Yes, I know.......they're not the real deal but who cares and who's "gonna" know.....and naturally, a good girlfriend is sworn to silence when donning the fakes!

Maybe one day someone will invent a breast enhancing mirror but until then I suppose I should be more positive about the whole boob thing. At least complaining about my "boobs" gives my "arse" a rest from criticism!!!

PS. For the uninitiated, silicone chicken fillets do not come with built in nipple headlights!!

Alio's Tweet Talk - MARCH 2010

2010-03-07T23:42:00.001-08:00

TRAVEL ETIQUETTE by alex o'halloran

Is there such a thing as travel etiquette?

On a recent trip to Sydney, my sister and I resembled two red eyed racoons as we sat gulping down a strong coffee in the departure lounge at Avalon. We noticed that some travellers' bad etiquette habits were on show well before we'd even left the ground as we watched an impatient man 'bang on' rudely, complaining that his has brown wasn't warm enough.....yes there's always one!

Like us - everyone appeared half asleep at 5am, rubbing their eyes, yawning and maybe hoping to hell they wouldn't see someone they knew at such a ridiculous hour........because when you look like crap - you ALWAYS do!

Whilst some people have manners when travelling or flying, others leave them on the ground.Have you ever sat down in your plane seat and dreaded what idot might sit next to you?

Typically you might encounter.........

THE RAPID RECLINER: This traveller is the one who immediately pushes the button to fling the seat back as far as it can go before the plane has even left the tarmac. They never consider their back seat neighbour.

THE TALKING TERRIER: For some travellers, flying is the perfect opportunity for 'solo time'. The biggest airline crime is the 'terry talk a lot' neighbour who won't shut up! The only way to avoid this is to immediately grab a mag or a headset - which instantly says 'back off chatterbox - I'm not recruiting mates on this flight' .Yes.......it sounds cruel - but sometimes it's just gotta be done.

ARM REST HOGS: Don't you hate them? With only 2 inches of arm rest space between you and your neighbour, remember the simple rule. It's 50/50. If they insist on hogging - gently nudge, smile and re-claim your 50% back. If that doesn't work, wait until they go to the loo and re-claim 100%!

TIGHT ASS FLYER: The ones that complain about everything when they've paid a mere $30 for a ticket. My flighty friend always had the perfect answer for them. "You pay a bus fare........you get a bus ride", what else can they say?

THE BOOZER: The freaks with the mini wine bottle obsession. Content with their very own little bar on board and if that's not enough, they buzz the trolley dolly to get a few more.....just in case.

THE AISLE MASTER: The compulsive aisle nut! The person in their socks pacing up and own the entire flight in an attempt to avoid deep vein thrombosis. Incredibly annoying!

THE PRIMA DONNA: Airline delays are inevitable.....it's part of flying, but like everyone travelling we all have to be somewhere eventually. Although we can all get frustrated at times, some people have trouble keeping their inner DIVA on a leash.

CARRY ON LUGGAGE: There's a reason why it's limited...........because there's only so much space going around. Leg room is for feet - not for a bag big enough to house a dead body!

And just when you think you've come across them all, you land, only to be knocked down by the 'ESCAPE ARTIST'.......the traveller who's determined to get off the plane 30 seconds before anyone else. As soon as that seat belt sign goes off - they make a mad dash for the exit.

Me, well......if I'm honest, I'm guilty of being the 'frustrated handbag digger'. 'Keys, wallet, passport'..........always digging for something and doing the double check.

That's okay, isn't it..........?

EDUCATION FOR THE BEDROOM IN THE 60'S

2010-02-18T15:26:00.000-08:00

Education for Girls in the 60's........... Couldn't resist posting this article that was emailed to me from a friend today.

It was something I just had to share.

Hopefully you can read the small print

FEBRUARY 2010 - Tweet Talk

2010-02-02T20:10:00.000-08:00

Taking that first dip........

'LOVE THY BEAVER' by Alex O'Halloran

Essentially beavers are cute, hard working, industrious and soft to touch. Like our very own beaver it hibernates in winter, emerging in it's full furry glory to say, "hello summer!"

With February here and our summer in full swing, most of us have had the pleasure of exposing our bods to public view and swimming, however, tragically - I am yet to have a dip!

Yes......I have every excuse in the book, including that I've been really busy, but if I'm completely honest, I'd rather go to jail than get a bikini wax!

Maybe those silly people who get really drunk and tattoo their bodies aren't that silly ? - maybe they have the right idea! No brain - no pain! On the next big night out when the drinks are flowing - just book in for the overdue wax job?

Ashamed at my own reflection and aware of how late into summer it is, I finally bit the bullet and made my waxing appointment. The mere thought of it almost brings on an allergic rash. Lets be honest........the only place hot wax should go is on the duco of a car!

We all know a waxing session involves the gruelling torture of eliminating every hair that God gave us in areas that ideally should be left untouched with an 'out of bounds sign to wax pots'.

As I enter the glamorous 'house of wax', I'm greeted by a smiling beauty therapist who's obviously been brain washed by the notion that waxing ones flesh is perfectly natural and what's worse, a pleasant experience. She hands over the ridiculous paper knickers as I strip off avoiding looking down at my winter growth. Feeling like a mountain yeti, I knew that my beaver, shag pile, rug or whatever name you wanna call it..........had to go!

Brazilian or standard, she asks? Standard please and a stiff drink too! Like a contortionist, my legs are wrapped around my head as she rips out every hair follicle I've ever owned and grown!

After 20 minutes of barbaric torture and recovering from shock, I couldn't decide whether I looked like a stripper from a Bangkok girlie bar or a hairless lab rat. Either way, I was horrified, naked looking and very breezy - down there!

Feeling slightly violated but happy with the thought of being able to hit the beach in a bikini instead of a full length rash suit, I ask you.............is the pain worth it?

I guess the choice is ours...........is it lab rat or yeti?

Perhaps the answer is simple........in your next life, come back as a man! But then again, some men do go for the 'BACK, CRACK & SACK wax'!

JANUARY 2010 - Tweet Talk

2009-12-30T19:45:00.000-08:00

BOND-EYE CANDY - by Alex O'Halloran

After a huge amount of negative feedback from the female customers I spoke to in my store, I consider my next statement to be "gutsy!"

Maybe I have different taste from other females, or maybe I have questionable taste or maybe some of those women I asked are just too scared to fess up or maybe I'm just comfortable in my own skin.

Here goes..........my confession is simple..............."I love (SOME) men in Speedos!".

Now don't get me wrong. Naturally a girl has her standards. When I say I love Speedos, I'm not talking about the short balding bloke who shows off his package in the hope that we won't notice his man boobs or his buddha belly. And if you can tell the size, shape and level of pudenda hairiness - he's definitely wearing the wrong swim suit!

No banana in the hammock is going to make a woman come running.That type of man should definitely obey the, "never leave the towel rule".

And then of course, there's the slang names; Meat hangers,lolly bag, ding-a-ling-sling, scrote tote and the good old budgie smugglers.

Critics may say, that the 'Speedo' is by far the most embarrassing piece of clothing a man could wear, and an unfit man in Speedos is like a bad car wreck - you can't help but stare, and if you're over the age of 3 you shouldn't be tempted to go the Speedo. I disagree because to me.......a man in socks and summer sandals is, well - WRONG!

Yes...........I appreciate that some women would prefer to be curious and fantasize rather than have it all laid right out in front of them, and that a man in boardies leaves you wondering, but in my mind the 'SPEEDO' looks sexy on a man in great shape! The speedo represents the iconic Bondi Aussie Lifesaver. Gods of the beach, as they proudly parade our shores with a hint of zinc, tanned and toned with their tight togs and a bum cheek peeking out that shouts, "WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA!".

Even on a visit back in 1988, when Princess Diana met the Sydney Lifesavers, she flirtatiously said, "I've been waiting for this all day".

So come on all you blokes out there..........don't hide behind those boardies forever..........lose that tan line and saggy sand chafe. If women of every shape and size can bare it all, so should you!

Have a little faith in Speedos...................and show off that man hammock...............but remember, I said Speedos, not the 'Borat Mankini'!

JANUARY 2010 Tweet Talk

2009-12-29T12:19:00.000-08:00

January 2010 Tweet Talk is only hours away! Here's wishing you all a very safe & happy New Year!

Jane Birkin.......My style icon

THANK YOU GIRLS!

2009-12-08T00:35:00.000-08:00

A big warm thank you to all my readers who pop into my store at Moss Industry florist or via email - to tell me how much they're enjoying my monthly tweet talk column!

I hope to always keep it light and amusing!!!

Here's blogging you all a very MERRY XMAS and a safe and happy 2010!

Warm wishes

Ali.O

DECEMBER - tweet talk

2009-11-29T12:37:00.000-08:00

'TROUBLE with PMT' - by alex o'halloran

What is PMT?

Does PMT turn you into the green eyed monster each month? Is it just a cop out for women to be horrible to the poor victims who are game enough to cross our paths? You hate the world and you haven't even said,"hello"!

At school my girlfriends sat around talking about it all the time boring me senseless. To me it was something that I just couldn't identify with because PMT didn't exist in my world. I used to believe that it was nothing more than a girl's excuse for a whinge, but now I know that it wasn't just a figment of their imagination.

My sister Danielle turned to me the other day and said,"Hey you weren't a bitch this month".And she was right! Don't you love how only a sister could say that!

Yes...............I admit, I experience the odd day or two each month where the build up to "that time" has it's repercussions.The freak show moves into my body without an official invite and like a bad case of tourettes syndrome,unpredictable anythings can come spilling out of my mouth. I become clumsy, flustered and irritated by ABSOLUTELY everything and EVERYTHING I put on feels tight. Miraculously my ass appears to have grown over night! 'Hello Serena Williams - the bubble butt' You know you're being an absolute troll to everyone around you - but don't they all know I have PMT!

My family see the signs straight away.I guess because they know me so well. It's then that the "tutting" sound starts.Weird I know, but it's something I have done for as long as I can remember. It's a stupid noise I make with my mouth that to those who know me shouts,"BEWARE - my tolerance is zero and I'm pissed off".The thing is, I know I'm doing it, but I can't stop! That's when I know it's time to retreat somewhere quiet with a pile of mags and a 'do not disturb sign'...................and then there's the cravings. Like a bear set free at a lonely picnic site, the pig out begins. A large packet of twisties is always a winner with me, so my hardest decision is whether to go savoury or sweet. Sound familiar?

Now I know I may sound a little neurotic, but after catching up with a friend for a coffee recently I now feel so much better. I asked her if she suffers from the monthly monster and she looked at me and simply said, "Hell no, I don't get PMT, I'm just a bitch all the time!"

We might hate PMT and all the tit bits that go with it - but no matter how much you're hating the world that day or how 'crapola' you feel - you know your girlfriends will just get it!

NOVEMBER - Tweet Talk

2009-10-30T23:46:00.000-07:00

Shaping up Noosa Style.........by alex o'halloran

As a self confessed bikini junkie in my teenage years, nothing mattered more to me than the "brand" - Yes........I truly loved my "EXPOSEES" - white and pink polka dots to be exact! I just had to have them - no matter how ridiculous the price tag.
I lived for Summer and literally lived at our local beach in Mt.Eliza where I grew up. My girlfriends and I spent every spare moment of our holidays and the odd wagged school day 'suckin' up the rays.

As I plonked my butt down on the sand in Noosa last week, I looked down at my mismatching bikini with it's floral top and completely wrong bottoms and thought to myself.............how things had changed!
These days, "the bikini" just doesn't rate in my world or on my list in the fashion stakes.Why spend a fortune on some teeny bit of fabric that I simply loathe myself in? Hell........... a great handbag is a much better investment and looks great with anything. People stop you and say, "Great bag". I can't remember the last time someone said that when I was all "bikinied" up sand side!

Looking around at the "all too tanned fabulousness" on the main beach, I regretfully noticed a group of 16yr old beauties sitting far too close.Thin as whippets, not a panel beaten leg in sight and clearly they were all gorgeous, body confident too.The only thing weighing these girls down was the ipod they carried. Admiring and hating them all at the same time.......I decided move myself on to the secluded family beach at Little Cove. Not a teen in sight.

Feeling 40 something, white and flabby, the next morning I decided to take up my husband's offer of joining him on his morning run through Noosa's National Park. As I laced up, stretched and thought of the those dimple free girls, I was ready to whip his ass and tragically abort my morning of magazines and coffee!

Listening to his words of encouragement it went a little like this, "Hey Ali, we'll take it slow and run until the wheelchair access path stops."Easy", I said.
Ready to die,still running and smiling too, I noticed that we'd jogged well past the path.
Casually I mentioned.............."Obviously wheelchairs in QLD are fitted with 4Wheel drive tyres??" The path stopped miles back!?" "Just a bit further" he said with a wink.
5.2km later and hating him, we ran back through the enterance gates to the National Park. Never having run that far in my life, I stood there out of breath and quietly happy with myself.
On waking the next day, as I crawled down our apartment stairs, it was clear that I was the one that needed a wheelchair. Seriously........I was literally cripple for 3 days.

The next morning as I dragged myself down our apartment stairs, I wondered what on earth had happened to my poor body. I decided that I had been viciously attacked in my sleep, but then the 5.2km run flashed in my head and I asked myself, "What part of running feels good?". "It doesn't!!"

As I sat there aching, crippled and feeling very sorry for myself, I drank my coffee and read my wonderful magazines that in "my world"shouted normal!

Smiling to myself, I thought...........'Hey, what's a few dimples between friends.......but then again'......................

Beach Bikini - NOOSA STYLE........

2009-10-17T02:54:00.000-07:00

Are you ready to strip down to your bikini?? Summer is just around the corner girls!!

Unfortunately for me, it came a little early. Just back from holidaying in Noosa for a week, no fake tan in a can, nor a pretty flowing top could prepare a 40 something woman for the tragic experience of sharing that sand space with a group of buffed 16 year old girls...........

Read about it in my NOVEMBER tweet talk -

"Shaping up - Noosa Style! "

Found in our Moss Industry window or at The Pod Cafe, BARWON HEADS.

Tweet Talk NOVEMBER.

OCTOBER 'tweet talk'

2009-09-29T14:26:00.000-07:00

'MAN UP' by alex o'halloran

When I heard that the cool grunge man - Tex Perkins was performing a 'Johnny Cash' show called, 'The Man in Black' I couldn't resist booking 2 tickets for my husband and I. Like that charismatic and broody thing Michael Hutchence had - Tex has it too.

Even a friend's husband, who is by no means gay, said he clearly wants to "do Tex" just because he is so cool.....Like women saying they want to "do Angelina Jolie" because she's so beautiful - and not because they are gay!

The last time I saw Tex Perkins play was at the Barwon Heads pub jammed into the main dining area on a hot summer's night when The Cruel Sea was a band that people remembered. For those of you reading this who have no idea who Tex is, we are definitely decades apart.....

After a fabulous show we headed off for a bite to eat, nestled in one of Melbourne's bustling lane ways.... a bar called 'Biscotti' where rows of tables sat squashed as they competed with their neighbouring restaurants.There was definitely no room for private chit chat as the person eating beside you was literally up your nose. I have to admit I've never got off on that whole share dining thing....
As I soaked up the atmosphere and eye candy of pedestrian fashions walking past with over sized killer heels and women's arms and legs dipped in tattoo art, I couldn't help noticing the frantic waiters running around like rats up a drain pipe. Not because they were at all memorable - but because clearly, there was zero male genes going on! Not a bloke to be seen. I appreciate that there's a real look for young men these days in the fashion stakes, but c'mon.......man up I say!
Don't get me wrong......I love my gay male friends.......the ones that bring a bit of "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" into my life......glitter and all, but as I turned to my husband I sized up the male waiters with my critical eye, and said "check out the wait staff.......one looks like a stand in elf for Santa and the other one was a mere 50kgs on the scales. No girl wants a guy to be skinnier than her in jeans.......it's just not right!"
I know they come in all shapes and sizes, but it just doesn't sit with me that the man or should I say the overly vain guy spends more time in front of the mirror than I do.

As I looked over at my husband I realized how lucky I am............lucky that I'm not an 18 or 20 something, having to choose from a population of men that have become a feminine something?? In front of me sat my man Johnny, my husband......... with his slightly tanned skin, piercing blue eyes and the shoulders that I fell in love with.......the ones that seem to go on forever. Kind and sensitive too........yes to ME, it's what a man is supposed to be.

I guess whether our man is going to "Man Up" or "Man Down", it's whatever rocks your boat................

SEPTEMBER 'tweet talk' by alex o'halloran

2009-08-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

IS IT A 'Y GENERATION' THING?'

I always swore that I would never compare myself to the younger generation because deep down I still think I fit that slot, but clearly I don't......so as I get older I can't help analyzing "Y gen" as I see more and more teens slothing around.

At first I came to the conclusion that there was something strange running through our water supply on the coast to cause them to move around at such a slow pace. I kept calling them "coastal kids", but after much reflection, I've realized that it's simply a 'Y Gen' thing. It doesn't matter where you are - you'll see the same characteristics everywhere.

As they drag themselves around from point A to B, it's as though they're carrying invisible buckets of heavy water on each shoulder with an expression of doom and gloom. They look like the poor villagers I saw many years ago in the Middle East lugging their crops on their heads - only they were real and they would have been within their rights to complain.

Ask a 'Y Gen' how they are and most times you'll just get a grunt or a shrug of the shoulders but if you're really lucky they'll simply answer, "I'm tired!".........Tired of what I ask?...........Tired of school, tired of texting, tired of eating, tired of talking or just tired of being tired?

Yes......all these things take up too much energy. It's like they've been hit with a stun gun or given a dose of Valium. The only interaction they can manage is one with their ipod and earplugs and a mobile phone glued to their hand.

This weird phenomenon has even made its way into the fashion stakes.Tiredness has affected the way jeans sit on a young guy's hips causing them to fall to a bizarre level below the butt crack. Even their hair lacks the energy to stand up, as it falls down covering their face, with one eye peeking out.

For young girls their uniform of glued ugg boots causes an irritating sound effect as they scuff slowly past. There's no air between their feet and the pavement. Forget "Air Jordan" of the 90's now it's "Ugg Scuff" of the new millennium.

Recently, when catching a late morning train at Southern Cross station I couldn't help noticing the girl next to me sitting slouched, eyes half open, hair clearly not brushed and wearing her pj bottoms!! Was she too tired to even get dressed or perhaps she was dressed and had been "sleeping rough?"

I asked my husband's daughter recently "What's up with you guys, you Y Gens?? The response came back" " Ali.... it's just how it is".

I guess I'm no longer the younger gen.....but can I still say I'm on the cusp???

AUGUST - 'tweet talk'

2009-07-16T18:42:00.001-07:00

YOUTH JUICE OR BAD SKIN?

by alex o'halloran

Who said pimples stopped after your teens?

As I stood there in a day dream watching the young check out boy expertly scan my shopping, I couldn't help noticing the blemishes that had invaded his poor face.That awkward age of puberty when your body's doing weird and wonderful things and at the same time you're out there desperately trying to look cool.The last thing you want is Mr and Mrs Zit and the whole family hanging out on your face.After my feelings of sympathy disappeared I started to think about and question the whole 'zit' thing...

I had just returned from a brief break with my husband John in sunny Noosa, where on my return I was to begin work charged and refreshed. A very small dose of vitamin D to wake up the skin and I was ready to approach the cold days of our Victorian winter with a whole new attitude.

Instead, as I looked in the mirror that morning before work, I noticed a family of migrant zits had decided to have their next meet on my face! Was it the brief change in climate at Noosa or just that I had plain old zits?

Now in my 40's I truly imagined that I would be '40 and fabulous'. Like most women I'm ashamed to say that yes...I believe everything that the magazines say.There was nothing fabulous looking back in my reflection - more like 40 and freaking awful.

Did they still sell Clearasil or should I now be asking for something a bit more sophisticated like Ella Bache blemish gel for mature women? I know this may sound vain, but in our 40's god dam it, we're allowed!

I then got to thinking about Michael Jackson and how he wore the mask and all and yes...I really did love him in the 80's.Bring it on Billy Jean! Maybe he wasn't so strange after all.Maybe he was just having a bad skin decade.

I know this may sound bizarre but I've always thought there was a big gap in the market for a fashionable mask for those bad zit days. A Fendi or old vintage print could look good? And for teenagers they could go for something different, whatever it is, as they drag themselves along the street with their hoody, ipod, iphone and new mask!

As I stopped myself from obsessing and dragged myself away from the mirror, I decided to throw it out into the kitchen over coffee time. I turned to my husband and said, "check out my face! check out my pimples - I'm a mess! What's going on? They should have moved on by now!"

With that he turned to me and smiled saying, "Ali... it's just youth juice.You look fine.Look at the bright side, when you no longer have it, you'll want it back"

Was he right?

With that I bounced into my new day feeling so much better as I walked down the street accepting my new crop of zits caused by that youth juice still flowing through my body.